Old Farmer’s Advice II

windmill-182287_1280Following last week’s first installment of Old Farmer’s Advice, I received many expressions of appreciation. Sometimes the simplest truisms hit home more precisely than lengthy profundities.

So here we go with the second installment of simple but true bits of wisdom from an old farmer:

• Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
• The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
• If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and enjoy the ride.
• Most of the stuff people worry about, ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
• Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
• Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Bet you can’t guess what I’ll write about next week! Stay tuned. Until then and even after then, I pray that God will bless you with both wit and wisdom!


Old Farmer’s Advice I

Credit: Robert S. Donovan / photo on flickr

Thanks to the many of you who responded to last week’s “I’m Ticked!” article. While I’d love to reply to each of you who went to the trouble to write, other responsibilities simply won’t allow that. Nevertheless, if you replied to last week’s article, thank you for doing so!

The one thing that was crystal clear in your responses is that, indeed, a bunch of folks have felt my pain when trying to conduct business over the phone by communicating with an automated response system. Some told me just to throw the useless statements in the trash. Others told me to cool it. One said I was overreacting. A few said cold beer would help!

This week and next week I plan to share some stuff I first saw several years ago. It’s not particularly theologically profound. Yet often practical theology is manifested in the common sense way of how and why we do some things and how and why we don’t do other things. So here we go, with the first installment of an old farmer’s advice:

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Don’t corner something that you know is meaner than you.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Meanness don’t just happen overnight.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.

More advice from an old farmer will be added next time. God bless your week!