Twelve More Rules for a Good Old Age–Adapted

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Today’s article is a continuation of the first “Ten Rules for a Good Old Age” shared with you on May 14. Here we go:

  1. If your spouse is still alive, be intentional about expressing your love. Say “I love you!” as often as possible. Enjoy your time together now. Don’t wait till later. She/he is one of God’s most important gifts to you. Thank Him daily and openly express your love. If your spouse is no longer with you, remember with a thankful heart the years and times you shared.
  2. Avoid using the phrase “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life.
  3. Stay positive about today. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days in the latter mode. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.
  4. If possible, avoid living with your children or grandchildren. It’s fine to live close to family but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your spouse, then find a place in the midst of others with whom you can readily identify and share similar values. Move only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.
  5. Try not to abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, find one. If physically and financially possible, you can travel, hike, cook, read, and dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer at church or your favorite charity. Find something you like to do and spend time having fun with it.
  6. Even if you don’t always feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, confirmations, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences, funerals. Try to go. Meet people you haven’t seen in a while, go to museums, walk through a field. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Get out there. If humanly possible.
  7. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of truncating conversations. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much. Always find some good things to say as well.
  8. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life everyone goes through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be and still are.
  9. If you’ve been offended by others, forgive them. If you’ve offended someone, apologize. Don’t drag resentment around with you. It will make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said, “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive and move on with your life.
  10. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But be wise when trying to convince others. People will make their own choices no matter what you tell them. Guided by the Spirit, live your faith and set an example. Actions speak louder than words.
  11. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Remember, you are one of the fortunate ones. If you’re over 70, you’ve been blessed with life, a long one. Many never get to be your age and never experience a life of fulfillment. But you have. Try to find the humor in your daily circumstance. Laugh at yourself.
  12. Take no notice of negative comments people say about you and even less of what they might be thinking. Let them talk and don’t worry. They likely have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think.

With all these tidbits of advice in mind, don’t forget to remember God’s promise: “Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” Is. 40:31

Ten Rules for a Good Old Age–Adapted

  1. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. In case of an emergency, you’ll be there to help. But you gave them an education, food, shelter, and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their way.
  1. Maintain a healthy life with moderate exercise like walking every day. Eat well and get sufficient sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. Stay in touch with your doctor. Get annual exams even when you’re feeling well.
  1. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your wife or husband that you can afford. Enjoy your time and money with your spouse. Some day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then. Enjoy it while you can.
  1. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down. And don’t let the future frighten you.
  1. Regardless of your age, keep love alive. Love your spouse. Love life. Love your family. Love your neighbor. Love your surroundings. Love your country. Giving affection helps us stay young at heart.
  1. Be humbly proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, unless you cut your own hair. Manicure your nails. Go to the dermatologist and the dentist. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it helps you feel confident and strong on the inside.
  1. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing sillier than an older person trying to wear what is currently fashionable among much younger people. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you. Stick with it.
  1. Keep informed about what’s going on around you. Read a newspaper. Watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised which old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what’s going on and with the people you know is important at any age.
  1. Respect younger people and their opinions. They may not have the same viewpoints as yours, but they are the future and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them of yesterday’s wisdom that still applies today.
  1. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. (Prov. 3:5-6)

 

I’m Too Young

When I was a young boy many years ago, on certain occasions my mother and father were quick to tell me that I was too young:

  • Too young to ride my bike to my friend’s house by myself
  • Too young to stay up as late as my older sister
  • Too young to swim in the creek by myself
  • Too young to mow the grass

These days of my life I don’t hear that statement any more. My parents are both in heaven. My dear wife never says I’m too young. Neither do our children or grandchildren.

And I surely don’t say that to myself or about myself. I’m not too young to do anything or to own anything or to go anywhere. I’m 76 years old. I’m not too young for anything.

In my work of encouraging people not to wait too long to plan how they want what they own to be distributed after the Lord calls them to heaven, I often hear people say: “I’m too young to think or talk about death and dying. Maybe I’ll be ready for that someday. But not right now.”

It’s more likely that I’ll hear that statement from someone 40 or 50 years of age or younger. But I also hear it from folks who are in their 60s or 70s or 80s. Too young? Really?

That’s the third of seven estate planning myths I began a couple months ago. “I’m too young to think or talk about death and dying. Maybe I’ll be ready for that someday. But not right now.”

Here’s the reality. Neither you nor I nor anyone else has a special “lease on life.”

Jesus told a parable of a farmer blessed with abundant crops. He decided to tear down his old barns and build bigger ones to store all his grain and possessions. No problem with that, so far.

Jesus continued the parable with what this rich man said to himself: “Then I will say to myself, ‘You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take it easy. Eat, drink, and be merry.”

Then Jesus added: “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be required of you. Then who will own what you have accumulated?’”

And Jesus concluded: “This is how it will be for anyone who stores up treasure for himself but is not rich toward God.”

Your legacy plan is not only about you. It’s especially about your loved ones. No matter your age, you’re not too young to plan your estate. Doing so helps minimize the stress your loved ones will experience when your life on earth is over. Just do it. Now. Legacy Deo can help.

Feeling Your Age?

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If you’ve ever looked at others your own age and thought, “Surely I can’t look that old!” you’ll be able to relate to this story:

My name is Alice. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.   On the wall I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 50 years ago. Could he be the guy I had a secret crush on back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School. “Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.”

I asked, “When did you graduate?” He answered, “In 1969. Why do you ask?” I exclaimed, “You were in my class!”

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat, gray-haired, decrepit,  so-and-so asked, “What class were you teaching back then?”

If you’re feeling your age, and even if you’re not, now’s the time to take care of writing your Last Will and Testament, if you don’t already have one. And if you do have a Will, it may be time to take a look at it and see if it needs to be updated.

Estate planning Myth #2: “Our estate plan was completed several years ago. We should be OK.”

The fact is that changes in your age, family situation, beneficiaries, and favorite charitable causes, not to mention changing estate tax laws, often result in a Will that is out of date.

Legacy Deo is pleased to offer Planning Your Legacy … A Guide to Planning Your Will and Trust. For your free copy, call 1-800-880-3733 or 1-512-646-4909 or contact info@legacydeo.org.

Using this guide to plan your estate will spare your family the difficulty of having to go through a much more difficult and costly process than would be the case at a time of sorrow and grief.

Do it now, while it’s on your mind. Provide a copy of your completed Will to a trusted member of your family and/or your independent executor. Your family will be blessed as a result. And it just might make feeling your age a bit more meaningful.

Seven Old Age Adages and One Piece of Advice

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This week is the celebration of the 55th anniversary of my graduation from Texas A&M University, known during my days there as A&M College of Texas. Thinking about all my aging classmates leads me to share with you these old age adages. Read, smile, and enjoy.

  1. A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman asked: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
  2. A senior citizen feeling his age said: “I have outlived my feet and my teeth. I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind and can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine. I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I have poor circulation and can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92 and have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.”
  3. Another senior said: “I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape. So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
  4. An elderly woman decided to prepare for her funeral and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated. Second, she wanted her ashes scattered at Wal-Mart. The preacher asked, “Why Wal-Mart?” The lady said, “That way I’ll be sure my daughters visit me at least twice a week.”
  5. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
  6. It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
  7. A senility prayer: “God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

My serious and sincere advice: While you’re still of sound mind, be sure to take care of the responsibility and privilege of planning your estate. Provide for your family and your favorite charitable causes. We at Legacy Deo would be honored to help.

Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older

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A Facebook friend posted the following thoughts, probably not original:

  1. Death is the number one killer in the world.
  2. Life is sexually transmitted.
  3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  6. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  7. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  8. Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Obviously my friend had his tongue at least partially embedded in his cheek. Some of these are more humorous than others. Yet within the humor lies one basic truth. We are mortal, finite human beings. Our human life had a beginning. It will also have an ending.

King David says it like this: “We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.” 1 Chron. 29:15

For Christians, that’s not the end of the story. At the death of his close friend Lazarus, Jesus said: “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies. And whoever who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

To some, that’s double talk. How can someone die and yet never die? That’s the mystery of death, solved only by the promise of eternal life through faith in Christ. For when a person dies, he/she takes off his/her body and moves to another existence. In that new heaven and new earth (Rev. 21:1) that person’s life never ends.

That’s a truth worth living for … a truth worth dying for … a promise to remember as you grow older.

As I Get Older

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Thanks to my many readers who expressed birthday greetings and anniversary congratulations last week. Your expressions of love are sincerely appreciated. The years go by quickly!

In that regard I recently saw the following observations titled As I Get Older:

#1  –  I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
#2  –  I consider “trendy” to be the clothes that still fit.
#3  –  I don’t need anger management. I just need people to stop ticking me off.
#4  –  My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for numskulls that needs work.
#5  –  The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
#6  –  I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7  –  These days “on time” is when I get there.
#8  –  Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9  –  Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#10 – When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it’s a mini vacation.
#11 – I thought growing old would take longer.
#12 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

Some of those observations are accurate. Others are gross exaggerations. One not mentioned above is that sometimes we procrastinate on responsibilities that need attention.

In my current vocational calling I discover that folks of all ages, including men and women my age or better, keep postponing preparation of important legal and practical documents that need to be taken care of. I’m thinking especially of a Last Will and Testament.

Also important are powers of attorney for finances and health care; a list of assets, liabilities, account numbers, and passwords; information and plans for our funeral service.

Some folks put off taking care of these things because they simply don’t want to admit that one day those documents will really come in handy for a surviving spouse and family. Or they just don’t want to think about the reality of death. Here’s the truth: Death happens!

We at Legacy Deo can assist you with these important matters. Go to http://www.LegacyDeo.org or email me at GBJK@LegacyDeo.org. You’ll be glad you did … especially as you get older!