Feeling Your Age?

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If you’ve ever looked at others your own age and thought, “Surely I can’t look that old!” you’ll be able to relate to this story:

My name is Alice. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.   On the wall I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 50 years ago. Could he be the guy I had a secret crush on back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School. “Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.”

I asked, “When did you graduate?” He answered, “In 1969. Why do you ask?” I exclaimed, “You were in my class!”

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat, gray-haired, decrepit,  so-and-so asked, “What class were you teaching back then?”

If you’re feeling your age, and even if you’re not, now’s the time to take care of writing your Last Will and Testament, if you don’t already have one. And if you do have a Will, it may be time to take a look at it and see if it needs to be updated.

Estate planning Myth #2: “Our estate plan was completed several years ago. We should be OK.”

The fact is that changes in your age, family situation, beneficiaries, and favorite charitable causes, not to mention changing estate tax laws, often result in a Will that is out of date.

Legacy Deo is pleased to offer Planning Your Legacy … A Guide to Planning Your Will and Trust. For your free copy, call 1-800-880-3733 or 1-512-646-4909 or contact info@legacydeo.org.

Using this guide to plan your estate will spare your family the difficulty of having to go through a much more difficult and costly process than would be the case at a time of sorrow and grief.

Do it now, while it’s on your mind. Provide a copy of your completed Will to a trusted member of your family and/or your independent executor. Your family will be blessed as a result. And it just might make feeling your age a bit more meaningful.

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Seven Old Age Adages and One Piece of Advice

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This week is the celebration of the 55th anniversary of my graduation from Texas A&M University, known during my days there as A&M College of Texas. Thinking about all my aging classmates leads me to share with you these old age adages. Read, smile, and enjoy.

  1. A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman asked: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?” She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
  2. A senior citizen feeling his age said: “I have outlived my feet and my teeth. I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I’m half blind and can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine. I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I have poor circulation and can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92 and have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license.”
  3. Another senior said: “I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape. So I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
  4. An elderly woman decided to prepare for her funeral and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated. Second, she wanted her ashes scattered at Wal-Mart. The preacher asked, “Why Wal-Mart?” The lady said, “That way I’ll be sure my daughters visit me at least twice a week.”
  5. Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
  6. It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
  7. A senility prayer: “God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

My serious and sincere advice: While you’re still of sound mind, be sure to take care of the responsibility and privilege of planning your estate. Provide for your family and your favorite charitable causes. We at Legacy Deo would be honored to help.

Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older

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A Facebook friend posted the following thoughts, probably not original:

  1. Death is the number one killer in the world.
  2. Life is sexually transmitted.
  3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  4. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
  5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
  6. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  7. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  8. Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Obviously my friend had his tongue at least partially embedded in his cheek. Some of these are more humorous than others. Yet within the humor lies one basic truth. We are mortal, finite human beings. Our human life had a beginning. It will also have an ending.

King David says it like this: “We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace.” 1 Chron. 29:15

For Christians, that’s not the end of the story. At the death of his close friend Lazarus, Jesus said: “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies. And whoever who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

To some, that’s double talk. How can someone die and yet never die? That’s the mystery of death, solved only by the promise of eternal life through faith in Christ. For when a person dies, he/she takes off his/her body and moves to another existence. In that new heaven and new earth (Rev. 21:1) that person’s life never ends.

That’s a truth worth living for … a truth worth dying for … a promise to remember as you grow older.

As I Get Older

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Thanks to my many readers who expressed birthday greetings and anniversary congratulations last week. Your expressions of love are sincerely appreciated. The years go by quickly!

In that regard I recently saw the following observations titled As I Get Older:

#1  –  I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
#2  –  I consider “trendy” to be the clothes that still fit.
#3  –  I don’t need anger management. I just need people to stop ticking me off.
#4  –  My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for numskulls that needs work.
#5  –  The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”
#6  –  I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.
#7  –  These days “on time” is when I get there.
#8  –  Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.
#9  –  Lately, I’ve noticed people my age are so much older than me.
#10 – When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it’s a mini vacation.
#11 – I thought growing old would take longer.
#12 – Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

Some of those observations are accurate. Others are gross exaggerations. One not mentioned above is that sometimes we procrastinate on responsibilities that need attention.

In my current vocational calling I discover that folks of all ages, including men and women my age or better, keep postponing preparation of important legal and practical documents that need to be taken care of. I’m thinking especially of a Last Will and Testament.

Also important are powers of attorney for finances and health care; a list of assets, liabilities, account numbers, and passwords; information and plans for our funeral service.

Some folks put off taking care of these things because they simply don’t want to admit that one day those documents will really come in handy for a surviving spouse and family. Or they just don’t want to think about the reality of death. Here’s the truth: Death happens!

We at Legacy Deo can assist you with these important matters. Go to http://www.LegacyDeo.org or email me at GBJK@LegacyDeo.org. You’ll be glad you did … especially as you get older!

Aging

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Today’s quotes:

“It is not by the gray of the hair that one knows the age of the heart.”
– Edward R. Bulwer-Lytton

“To be 70 years young is sometime far more cheerful and hopeful than to be 40 years old.”
– Oliver Wendell Holmes

This week Terry and I are attending a conference on aging. We’re spending three days with a number of pastors and their spouses, all within a few years of my age. Some are a bit younger but all of us are at or near the three score plus ten number.

Most people who reach that age have experienced their share of joys and sorrows, victories and defeats, difficulties and blessings. That’s the stuff of which life is made.

Sorrows, defeats, and difficulties tend to accelerate the aging process, sometimes leading to pessimism, depression, or despair. Joys, victories, and blessings often delay the obvious signs of age and produce a greater sense of optimism, appreciation, and generosity.

Physical health, emotional wellbeing, and spiritual maturity are very significant factors in the onset, delay, and effect of the aging process. Those qualities matter at all times, especially in the last quarter of life, particularly for those who may already have heard the two minute warning.

Regardless of your age or attitude toward life, consider God’s message to the people of Israel through the prophet Isaiah: “Even when you’re old, I’ll take care of you. Even when your hair turns gray, I’ll support you.” Is. 46:4

Here’s to happy and graceful aging!

The Red Book

Red BookCaring for an aging parent responsibly includes helping your loved one take care of important life matters. It’s easier to do so while that loved one is still living. In a family, often one specific person takes care of all financial responsibilities. Caring for an aging parent responsibly includes helping your loved one take care of important life matters. It’s easier to do so while that loved one is still living. In a family, often one specific person takes care of all financial responsibilities.

In that case, or if a person lives alone, a “Red Book” containing critical personal and financial data can assist the spouse, child or financial advisor in handling important matters after the person’s death. Former Lutheran Foundation of Texas Board Chairman Herb Noack wrote an article titled “Where’s the Red Book?” Herb states this valuable tool should contain:

  • Location of bank accounts and safe deposit box, with shared access permission to both
  • Any long term charitable commitments, including testamentary gifts or remainder trusts
  • Location of signed, witnessed, notarized Will, Power of Attorney, and Medical Powers
  • List of retirement, 401 (k), 403 (b), IRAs, annuities, pensions and brokerage accounts
  • Favorite Scripture passages, hymns, names of pall bearers and other funeral details
  • Name and telephone numbers for Attorney, CPA, Doctor(s) and Insurance Agent(s)
  • Updated, detailed list of all assets and liabilities with location and legal name
  • Contact info, user names, account numbers, etc., for all accounts
  • Location of vehicle titles and deed to home or other real property
  • Name of preferred mortuary and location of cemetery and plat
  • List of insurance policies (life, auto, long term care, home)
  • Birth, confirmation and marriage certificates, if available
  • Location of tax returns and tax information
  • User name and password for computer
  • Copy of driver’s license and passport
  • List of credit and debit cards

Once created, it is vital to keep the Red Book updated (at least annually) and in a safe place. Because electronic information may be destroyed if your computer crashes or is infected with a virus, electronic and hard copy backup information should always be created and kept in a safe place. Be sure to tell the individual who will be handling your or your loved one’s personal affairs that a Red Book exists and where it is located.

Larry Ohls, LFOT CEO, says: “It’s the easiest thing in the world to put off doing things like this. But if you wait one second too long, it’s the hardest thing in the world from which to recover.”

For assistance with these matters, go to http://www.LFOT.org and click on “Resources.” Taking these steps now will provide peace of mind for you today and blessing for your loved ones in the future.

Caring for Aging Parents

Elderly 1While that’s a topic not entirely new to Terry and to me, we’re certainly no experts. Her father, mother and stepfather passed away a few years ago. Her mother died after hospitalization from an auto accident, although she had previously spent some time in assisted living. Neither Terry’s father nor stepfather required long term care beyond the capacity of family and very close friends to provide. Yet the care family and friends did provide was both physically and emotionally demanding.

My father passed away over 33 years ago. Although he died at home, the time and energy Mom spent caring for him was very likely more consuming than any of us children might have imagined at the time. We weren’t there all the time. Mother was there, lovingly caring for her husband, watching him gradually slip away, leaving her and our family at the relatively tender age of 66 years.

As mentioned in a previous article, almost three weeks ago Mother moved to assisted living. She’s gradually making the adjustment, which may never be totally complete. Yet she knows she can’t care for herself and can no longer live alone, as she had since Daddy’s passing. She also knows her family can’t provide the almost constant care her significantly weakened condition demands.

She’s taking it one day at a time. So are the rest of us, including my sisters Carol (her husband Jerry is deceased), Karen and her husband Mel, Debbie and her husband Curtis, Terry and yours truly. From longer distances but nevertheless watching closely and praying fervently are Mother’s twelve grandchildren plus nine spouses; 22 great grandchildren plus two spouses; and three great great grandchildren (one deceased). Granny is dearly loved!

So how do loved ones care for an aging parent or grandparent or other beloved family member or friend? Last week I asked my readers for suggested answers to that question. Here are some of the responses I received:

  • Have patience! Lord willing, we will all live long enough to be in their position one day. I’ll want the love and respect of my family, not their sharp tongues and rolling eyes and all the ways children might express exasperation for a parent not hearing or not remembering.
  • If a parent has dementia or one of its many forms, whatever they say or do is not really “them” but the disease they have talking through them. Remember how they were when your parents were loving you and caring for you and supporting you. Display that same love for them by returning those feelings. It will make a world of difference!
  • Each offspring plays one of two roles. You are either the caregiver or the nurturer of the caregiver. This means all the children must work together and help the designated caregiver and the caregiver must work with the others. Harmony among family members is key in these situations for the whole family.
  • Spend time visiting, visiting, visiting, and listening, listening, listening.

In Mother’s case, Terry and I live too far away to make everyday visits feasible. Thankfully, Sisters Carol and Karen live close enough to Mom’s new address to visit her in person frequently. Sister Debbie lives in Little Rock but stays in phone contact every day and visits in person when she can. Terry and I visit Mother as often as possible, so far once each week. All of us call Mom frequently and hold her in our prayers daily.

In addition, Mother’s countless community friends, neighbors, fellow members of Cross Lutheran Church and Pastor Don Fraker also visit and communicate with her in many ways. And the wonderful folks at her assisted living facility are attentive to her needs in ways that transcend the care our family would be able to provide.

What are the factors to consider in caring for aging parents?

  • If they live at home, do what you can to make their lives safe, secure and comfortable.
  • Whether you live nearby or far away, continue to stay in touch with them frequently.
  • If the demands of their physical or emotional condition are beyond your ability to manage, investigate the alternatives for in home care, assisted living or nursing home care, as needed.
  • Do your best to see that their physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met.
  • Remember to assure them of your constant love and fervent prayers.

Here’s what I wrote to Mother’s extended family earlier this week: “Anything we’ve considered is done with Granny’s involvement and consent and with her best interest at heart. God only knows how long she will be here with us on earth. While occasionally commenting that her new apartment is not her home, she also says she realizes that this is where she needs to be at this time in her life. She knows, like each of us, that she’s but a stranger here on earth and heaven is her home.

Next week I’ll address some of the important financial matters that need attention in caring for aging parents. Stay tuned!