Worship Service of the Future?


Credit: Wikipedia

Credit: Wikipedia

Not sure where I got it, but in my file I found a prophetic prognostication (with obviously a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor intended) of what a church service of the future might look like. The service is posted below.

Please hear this disclaimer: I am not recommending this approach to worship!

Full disclosure: I do use a variety of very handy, nifty, free, resourceful iPhone apps to read Holy Scripture during Bible class and worship services. One of those apps provides the original Greek language. Most have search capabilities, enabling the user to locate specific passages quickly. I can also readily and easily compare different translations of the same passage. Very helpful!

In addition, Terry and I recently began submitting our weekly offering by electronic bank transfer. We still put in the offering plate an envelope with the amount and “electronic” written on the outside. Doing so makes me feel less conspicuous or guilty than I would feel if the person in the pew beside me were to notice that I simply passed the plate but put nothing in it. It’s also a blessing to know that when we’re out of town and miss worship at our home congregation, our offering is automatically transferred to Zion Lutheran Church in Walburg, Texas.

Worship is a matter Terry and I take very seriously, yet joyfully! I hope that’s true for you also!

God bless you and have a wonderful week!

Worship Service of the Future?

PASTOR: Praise the Lord!

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PASTOR: Please turn on your tablet, PC, iPad, cellphone and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.

(Silence while worshipers listen to narrated Scripture and view the sermon on YouTube.)

PASTOR: Now let us pray, committing this week into God’s hands. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God.

(Silence while congregation prays. At this point the reader must presume that if God can hear a silent prayer, he must also be able to receive prayers submitted via other methods/media.)

PASTOR: As we receive our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.

  • Ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers.
  • Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.
  • Those who prefer to use iPads, flip them open.
  • Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.

(Note: The holy atmosphere of the church becomes truly electrified as all the cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!)

PASTOR: Final Blessing and Closing Announcements

  • This week’s ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages, where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out.
  • Thursday’s Bible study will be held live on Skype at 7:00 p.m. Please don’t miss out.
  • You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.
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